Everyone wants to find love, to be in love, and to stay in love. Sounds good, but how do we find that special someone? And even trickier, how do we live happily ever after with Mr. or Ms. Right?


Fortunately, someone else has already given this a lot of thought. Ayurveda has come up with a way to (drum roll) explain the nature of everything in the universe, including your love life.

Ayurveda assigns each of us to a type, according to physical features and personality traits, so we can understand how we relate to the rest of the world, including the other people in it. It’s a big help in communication. In fact, I can say it’s one of the most important things I have ever learned.

Once we understand the system, it becomes clear that we could connect romantically with just about anyone. There are no bad romantic matches, but some combinations are just better than others.

When we’re in love and our relationships make us happy, that love energizes the world around us. Healthy relationships contribute to everyone’s health. Ayurveda says that in a committed relationship, one plus one doesn’t equal two, it equals eleven! That’s because your committed relationship can be the most healing place in your life. The true definition of a great relationship is that it is mutually healing and can energize you and your life in the world. And, if you work at it, it can keep growing and growing, and you will end up more in love than when you met and were already head over heels.

Since there are three basic constitutional types, there are several different possible matches between you and your (potential) sweetie.

So, how do you personalize your love life with Ayurveda? First, Ayurveda suggests a spouse of a different constitution. (That eliminates a third of the pool, already, eh?) This helps you balance each other in the relationship, and prevents your offspring from being too extreme in any one dosha. Two Vatas produce a child who is doubly Vata, for example- much harder to keep in emotional and physical balance. 

All this boils down to the idea that Kaphas and Vatas do best when married to each other, and Pitta does best when married to Vata or Kapha.

Let’s take a quick look at the combinations:
• Vata with Vata- Neither of you balances the checkbook
• Vata with Pitta- Cold balances hot. Good.
• Vata with Kapha- Light balances heavy. Best.
• Pitta with Pitta- Kitchen warfare! Likely the worst.
• Pitta with Kapha- Hot balances cold. Good.
• Kapha with Kapha. Neither of you gets out of the double wide recliner.

By the way, I am a Kapha, and my wife is a Vata, so we make a good match. We have a long, happy marriage.

If you do end up with someone of your same constitution, it’s not a disaster. There are great communication and lifestyle tools you can learn, which will help keep your relationship bliss on an even keel.

Have you had any experience matching up with your honey using Ayurveda, or some other system? How’s it working out?